whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
