I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
