yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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