This dress was meant to end up on your floor
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
