Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
