in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
