no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Randomize
