At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
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