she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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