as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Sext me about skeletons
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
