How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
