it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
