i don't like sucking hair
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
