I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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