It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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