Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
