you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
