You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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