some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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