I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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