he thought i was a dude.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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