Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
