Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
