..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
My ass is underappreciated
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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