There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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