Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
did you just send me my own nude
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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