I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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