You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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