just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
