Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
