No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
