is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
