hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
