Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
