YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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