no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
kristin has been a bad kristin
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
