He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize
