They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
