Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
