My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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