some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Randomize
