Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
