I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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