So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
