She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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