dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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