If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
