Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
