She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
