I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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