i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
