Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
That's when you crack a 10am beer
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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