Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
